Kissing girls is pretty much totally fun. I definitely like doing it. But if you don't get your lips properly ready, your kisses are going to be a total fail. So as to make sure you all know how to get your lips ready to kiss girls good, here are the top six things you can do to ensure you do great kisses.
Chapstick
Before you do any kissing you gotta make sure your lips aren't all flaky and chappy. Or she might use her tongue and accidentally get it covered in lip flakes.
Lip Muscle Exercises
Strong lips mean good kissses. The best lip exercise I have found is to lay face down, put your hands behind your back and push yourself up using only your lips. I like to do a set of 20, and then another set of 20 after a 1 minute break.
Have An Ancient Chinese Lip Master Train You In the Art Of Lip Karate
The Ancient Chinese have mastered the art of lip fighting, and though you want your kisses to be gentle, every girl wants to kiss a guy who has the power to permanently cripple her with his ancient lip fighting techniques. It's sexy and dangerous.
Have Your Lips Approved By The FDA
It is illegal in the United States to kiss with lips that haven't been approved by the Food and Drug Administration, so make sure you get those lips checked out and approved before you go kissing at the ladies, unless you want to end up in federal prison on charges of "kissing with undocumented lips."
Practice On Your Cat
Cats are notoriously picky open mouth kissers, so if you can get your cat into passionately kissing you, kissing a girl should be easy street for you.
Have A Friend Who Is Really Bad At Kissing Kiss Her First
Get your slobbery friend who eats tons of garlic and sour candy to kiss the girl you plan on kissing right before you do, that way when you go in to kiss her your kisses, even if they're only OK, will seem amazing by comparison. For bonus points, have your friend put a little mud on his lips, and then when you kiss her without any mud on your lips she'll be so grateful she'll probably pay for dinner.
What do you do to prepare for kissing? Let us know in the comments!
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