Captain America is one hell of a Superhero. He's great at being all patriotic while fighting crazy dudes with a similar level of super power. As a boyfriend though, he, well, he tries. But as you can see from the examples below, he's not quite up to par. Here are some of the most frustrating things he does when he's dating someone.
Correct You When You Refer To Him As "Mr. America"
Look dude, we're on a date right now, I'm not some army recruit. There's no way I'm going to call you "Captain" when we're going halfsees on this lunch date at IHOP.
He Won't Put His Shield Down
Captain America is wayyyy too attached to his shield. He won't put it down while you're kissing, and it's really annoying worn on his back at the movies.
He Only Wants To Eat American Food
Captain America eats American food, and that's that. If you try to bring home Chinese food he'll freak out, think you're a spy, and punch the eggrolls open looking for tracking devices.
Red Skull Keeps Interrupting Your Dates
Captain America and Red Skull are fated to always duel. All they really think about is fighting each other. So expect to be in the middle of a great mini-golf date only to be evaporated by a powerful ion cannon. Which is a serious hassle.
He's Not Great At Compliments
Compliments have never really been Cap's forte. He's mostly been busy fighting foreigners and nursing injured bald eagles back to health.
He Kisses With Super Soldier Strength
And that was without tongue.
You Can't Take Him To Foreign Films
Captain America considers any language other than english, or as he calls it "American" to be treason, so if he take him to a foreign film he'll immediately put his fingers in his fingers, close his eyes, and say "I'm not listening! I'm not listening," until the movie's over.
How else is Captain America a crappy date? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment