I think we can all agree that there is nothing Justin Bieber can’t do. He can sing. He can dance. He can never say never. But apparently there is something this boy wonder can’t do. Old school record scratch! He can’t sell magazines! It seems the Biebs is a cover boy failure!
Yup! The chosen one’s Vanity Fair cover is on track to being the lowest selling issue in over 12 years. More like Vanity Fail.
How could this be? You’d think tweenage girls would be spending all their tooth fairy money on this fine Bieber collectable! Perhaps they didn’t like all the words…I mean Vanity Fair is just full of them. Unlike Us Magazine, which is full of picture inside his private bedroom world.
Now, things get more interesting when you realize that his Teen Vogue cover was also a sales disappointment. And his People magazine cover...huge bomb. And People is right up there with Us Magazine in the low word count department. Maybe the kids are just stealing People from their pediatrician's office and not buying it? True Beliebers...living the thug life!
Biebs is probably like, whatevs! I don’t need your stinking magazine covers! I’m Justin Bieber! Super boy! See, says so right here...just above where my jacket is so naturally exposing my bony shoulder.
And why should he care? He’s dating Disney cutie Selena Gomez. Here’s a pic of them that pretty much defines ‘passion,’ don’t you think? Mmmmmm chin!
When he's not creating annoying music, he's busy promoting his new perfume, which has the jankiest bottle ever. I mean seriously, that thing is like whatever the female version of phallic is.
side note: WTF IS GOING ON WITH THOSE SHOES?!?!?!?
Anyways…magazine insiders theorize that Justin Bieber’s poor magazine cover performance probably has more to do with his gender. It seems that, in general, female stars sell magazines faster than men. There are so many joke possibilities here right now that my mind is literally short-circuiting. I’ll just say that the following Bieber cover must have flown off the shelves.
So Bieber had a fail. That’s fine with me! I love a good Bieber fail.
Besides, Bieber's win column is still way longer than his fail one...for now! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
What do you think? Are you surprised that a magazine with Bieber's mug on the cover has disappointing sales? Can you tell me WTF is up with those shoes? Please let me know in the comments!
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