Scientists Discover The Purpose Of Sex!

Desi Jedeikin

If you’re like me, you probably lie awake every night pondering the great mysteries of the world. Things like…just how dumb is Kim Kardashian’s fiancé? Why am I following Justin Bieber on Twitter? And what is the real reason why we do the sexy time? 

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Well, nerds in lab coats have come to the rescue once again with scientific research of the most important kind. Because seriously, who wants to do sex just because it feels good? I mean, I ain’t doing anything until I know the evolutionary theory behind my behavior…am I right? So, what do the experts say? And by experts I mean actual Ph.D holders with degrees in sexy time science, not the faux sexperts the media pushes on all of us—without mentioning any names.

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Scientists at Indiana University believe they have finally proven the long-held theory that sexual reproduction helps ward off bacterial infections and parasites by constantly creating offspring with new genetic codes.

Now all this guy needs is someone to blend with…any takers?

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So how did they prove this theory? They did it with worm sex! Boom Chicka Wah Wah!

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It is this cross-fertilization that helps creatures stay a step ahead in the continuous "arms race" with the parasites that are forever evolving to try to infect us. Although I don’t think any species could evolve fast enough to keep up with the parasites being created every second in the Jersey Shore hot tub. SNAP!

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Curtis Lively, one of the co-author’s of this new report, goes one step further, stating that “the coevolutionary struggle between hosts and their parasites could explain the existence of males." Oh really, Curtis Lively? I’m pretty sure science will never be able to explain the existence of some males!

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So what do you think? Are you glad you finally know the biological reason for sex? Am I the only one trying to figure out how worms do it? Let’s discuss in the comments!

Check Out Sex-Ed In Kindergarten!

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