Breaking up with a girl is always tough. They always get all sad and start crying and going to the bathroom all over themselves and curling into a defensive posture and shooting out semi-poisonous spikes from their backs. I may be thinking of porcupines. Either way breaking up with girls is hard. So you'll want to ease the pain by doing it in the right place. Here are some of the best.
Where She Works
I dare her to make a scene while trying not to get fired from her job waitressing at the Soup Plantation.
On The Bus
No matter how bad the break up will be on her, it won't be nearly as bad as the guy holding the dead bird that keeps asking her if she's Marilyn Monroe, and if so, can he smell her.
On Youtube
It's going to be painful for both of you, you might as well get a little internet fame out of it. Bonus tip: if you mash-up Nyan Cat with your break-up you can guarantee yourself a few thousand more hits.
That Maternity Ward Where Everything Is Hello Kitty
You know she won't cry and yell if she's worried about waking up those adorable Japanese babies.
While Watching The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants
So she won't be all sad when you do it because she'll be too busy learning that what she really needed all along was to be strong on her own.
While Holding A Basket Of Baby Otters
It's basically impossible to be sad while watching a baby otter nuzzle another baby otter. Believe me, thousands have tried, from the greatest Kings to the lowest paupers, and all have failed.
In Palestine
Your break up might be rough, but trust me, in Palestine, she'll have way more important things to worry about.
In The Labyrinth From The Movie Labyrinth
Yeah she'll post vindictive things about you on Facebook... if she makes it out alive.
Where else should you break up with a gal? Let us know in the comments!
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