Cowboys and aliens are both fun loving creatures that hang out with kids and teach them life lessons, but they can just as easily make you scream F My Life! That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best cowboy and alien FML moments this week!
Use Your Alien Powers To Vanquish Her
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. Itook one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
That Doesn't Mean You're Wrong
Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML
So.... She's Hot....?
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years attempted to explain to me how the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a BS in Biology and a MS in Anthropology and I am working on my Phd and she thinks I am being an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML
Sufferin' Succotash!
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
She Got What She Deserved
Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML
Throw Everything In The Room At Her
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
He Probably Saved Your Life, And The Planet
Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML
You're Lucky He Didn't Use Them Against You
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
For more, check out FMyLife.com!
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