The concluding chapter to Harry Potter was an exceptional film filled with amazing spectacle and incredible character resolutions. The director, David Yates, did a great job. But as great as he was, with a movie so action packed it begs the question, what would action-insane director Michael Bay have done differently?
Instead Of An Owl, Harry's Familiar Would Have Been A Hot Chick Driving a Ferrari
Michael Bay crams hot chicks getting out of cars into every nook and cranny he can find in a movie. He would take one look at Harry's owl and be like, "why the hell isn't that a hot chick? And more importantly, if she were a hot chick, what would she drive?"
The Force Field Protecting Hogwarts Would Be An American Flag
Xenophobic Uber Patriot Michael Bay knows the most powerful defense in the universe is an American Flag. Nothing can get rhrough an American flag, not bullets, not injustice, and especially not a bunch of poncy spells.
Voldemort's Motivations Would Be Very Different
Instead of wanting to kill Harry Potter so no one would be left to defeat him, he would want to kill Harry Potter because Harry Potter was planning on releasing Transformers 4, and it would have been foretold that releasing Transformers 4 was the one thing that would one day bring together muggles and wizards and therefore bring peace to the universe.
He Would Replace The Actor Rupert Grint With A Bunch Of Explosions
Michael Bay refuses to have nancy boys in his movies, and he always wants to have more explosions, so naturally he would have Ron Weasley be a neverending series of rad explosions that get to make out with Hermione.
Hermione Granger Would Dress Very Differently
Michael Bay thinks that women only wear three kinds of clothing: sexy red dresses, string bikinis, or sweaters covered in dirt from battle that are torn around the boob region.
Minvera McGonagall Would Have One Chainsaw Arm And One Rocket Launcher Arm
All characters in all Michael Bay movies must have the ability to randomly blow sh*t up. Or cut through a car. Or both.
Shia Labeouf Would Be Walking Around In The Background For No Reason
For some reason nobody understands Michael Bay insists on having Shia Labeouf around all the time. So he would find a way to cram him into Harry Potter, probably shuffling around in the background of scenes wearing an expensive suit and pissing everybody off.
How else would a Michael Bay Harry Potter movie be different? Let us know in the comments!
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