Despite the usual vibrant colors and over-use of exclamation points in their show titles, Kids Television can be a desolate wasteland of sameness. Perhaps some of you have been forced to sit down with your younger brother, sister, cousin, or nephew in front of a TV that confuses the kids more than entertains them. Never fear - you are not alone. That is why today I decided to bring you a list of some of the shining moments in Kids TV over the past couple of decades, and some that may have been more recent than you would think. Don’t worry kids TV-lover, there is hope for us yet.
Artie - The Adventures of Pete & Pete
Artie “The Strongest Man in the World” gave hope to the kids who tuned in to Nickelodeon every week. Even though he lacked super powers or exceptional physical ability, he approached normal tasks with the attitude of a superhero, thus making all that he was magnificent. May he always be the strongest man of our hearts and our dreams.
Sifl and Olly - The Sifl and Olly Show
Even though Sifl and Olly was technically an “older kids show” thus appearing on MTV for that special older kid crowd - it maintained the heart and silliness of some of our most beloved kids show. Educational too! Geography? Well how about a song detailing, “The United States of Whatever” Economics? Precious Roy’s Home Shopping Netwerk should do the trick.
Stanley Spadowski - UHF
If you’ve seen the Weird Al-fronted, “UHF” you know that it’s not just a movie. And if you’ve seen Michael Richards as “Stanley Spadowski” you know that he’s not just any character, he’s the kind of guy whose incoherent rambling and easy amusement is the perfect recipe for one of the best kids shows of all time, and one of the best characters Richards has ever played - Kramer be damned.
Gooble - Yo Gabba Gabba
Gooble’s my favorite character on “Yo Gabba Gabba” and not just because his perspective so harshly contrasts to the other characters’ more sunny dispositions, but because he owns his unhappiness, and sometimes the biggest weirdo is the coolest weirdo my friends. Think about it.
Earboy - All That
”Earboy, it’s Earboy - his ears are really big!” Those were the only lyrics in the opening theme song because really - what more did you need? This was arguably one of the better characters on the highly successful “All That” original series in the early ‘90s. It was a forum for kid comedians to try out their silly stuff, which was always top notch.
Pepper Ann - Pepper Ann
I don’t know if I need to clarify it - but nerds are my people, and when it comes to cartoon nerds Pepper Ann is the tween queen. Pepper Ann wasn’t “too cool to be 12” because she was legitimately slick and confident - she had a brand of awkwardness that comes from years of being the butt of the joke, but she owned it giving all of us other young lady nerds a decent shred of hope.
Stick Stickly - Nick in the Afternoon
I don’t remember the names of my teachers growing up, or some of the things that I learned in my classes - but I will never forget Stick Stickly. Usually greeting me when I arrived home from school with a new episode of “Hey Dude” or “Salute Your Shorts” he became the friendly, simple, witty friend kids of the ‘90s always wished they had.
Clarissa - Clarissa Explains it All
Clarissa was the cool older sister you wish you had, the kind that would drive you and your friends to the movies and make mix tapes for you when you were having a bad week at school. She was also weirdly and crazily technological - does anyone else remember her making straight-up video games every episode? Before the internet? And flash? Yeah. That’s how cool she was dude, deal with it.
Mr. Peabody - The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
Mr. Peabody always marked my absolute favorite part of any “Rocky and Bullwinkle” episode. I’m not entirely sure why this was, it could have been the great voice actor that was giving him life, or it could have been the fact that they were able to explore fantastical worlds through the magic of a time machine. Yeah, it was probably the time machine part. Hope you enjoy him as much as I did.
Freakazoid - Freakazoid
Freakazoid was like the patron saint of ADHD. Kids laughed at his show not simply for the joke itself but for the rapid paced delivery that often sent the plot into a frenzy of confusion and one-liners. In other words, we didn’t laugh just because we loved it, we laughed because we had to. God bless Freakazoid for bestowing that rare gift onto all of us.
What other kids shows from the past should come back? Let us know in the comments!
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