10 Toys You Should NEVER Buy A Little Girl

Desi Jedeikin

When it comes to gift giving, people always say it's the thought that counts. But when you're buying a little girl a toy that is all kinds of wtf, there's really no thought involved. I hope. Here's a look at toys that would be insane to buy any little girl.

Peni-corn

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Why is this horn so horny? No one wants their little girl snuggling up to this monstrosity every night.

Benign Girl Cell Phone

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I guess it's better than calling your product cancer girl, but there has to be something in between, no?To be fair it's obviously a translation fail, I'm sure they were trying to say something more along the lines of 'gentle and kind disposition girl' , but is that any better? Don't make waves young ladies! Just gab on your cell phones and STFU IRL!

Anything By The 'Girls Only' Brand

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If it was just a cleaning trolley,I would be fine with it. I mean little girls do love playing house and all that kind of girly stuff. But why the name 'girls only'? WTF is up with that? These company execs probably still think voting should be for 'boys only'. If you're gonna be sexist though, you might as well spring for the washing machine. I hear the convenience of a washing machine gives woman more time to dote on their husbands.

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Tattoo Barbie

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No one wants their darling daughter to play with the Barbie version of Kat von D. Although I'd rather see a little girl with a Ken tramp stamp than a Jesse James one anyday.

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Breastfeeding Baby Doll

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There is nothing more natural than breastfeeding your baby. When you're an adult. Or one of the stars of 16 and Pregnant. And WTF is chup, chup, chup? WRONG!

Nimbus 2000

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This sounds like it would be a great toy! I mean, who doesn't love Harry Potter? And I think we can all agree Hermione Granger is one of the greatest female role models ever. So what's the problem?The vibrating part. It's slightly disturbing to give a girl a vibrating stick to ride. Even more disturbing... when her mom shows a sudden interest in playing Quidditch.

Struts

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These are to My Little Pony what Bratz are to Barbie. Sluts, I mean Struts are fantasy fashion model horses. I think we can all agree that fantasizing about sexy horses is not only wrong but is a crime in most states.

Peek-A-Boo Stripper Pole

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Parents were outraged when British retailer Tesco was selling this as a toy on their website. They relented to the outrage and moved the item to the 'fitness accessory' category. But don't worry! If you still want to encourage a child to consider a future career as a stripper, you can buy her a pasties and tassels onesie. This world is doomed.