Some in Japan are obsessed with a very odd assortment of American products, people and ideas. Some have suggested it is a mocking obsession, others have suggested it's just plain old fashioned Japanese fascination with crap we'll never understand. Either way, here are just some of the many American things Japanese people can't get enough of:
Kit Kat Bars
In America we've got one kind of Kit Kat bar, it comes in a few sizes, and we like it fine. We have it every now and again at the movies, or after a bad breakup because nothing feels better after a breakup like sucking down factory processed saturated fat- but the Japanese taking loving Kit Kats to a whole new level. They have over 80 flavors of Kit Kat. To put that in perspective the place in America with the most flavors available is 31 flavors. Japan outdoes that, via Kit Kats, by 49 flavors. The flavors can be pretty rough too, with flavors ranging from semi-insensible like "grilled corn" to what basically amounts to a f*ck you with the "camembert cheese" flavor. Because you know what I want my candy tasting like? Cheese that Englishmen eat after a long day hunting foxes.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Japanese people put Arnold Schwarzenegger in so many commercials it's like they're worried that if they don't have him on TV at any given time it means he ceases to be. It makes sense that they'd find him so amusing, since Arnold, with his muscles and his hummer and his action hero "f*ck you I've got a big gun and I don't give a crap what you think" attitude, he's basically the protypical North American version of a Minstrel show. His commercials are pretty hilarious too. Give this one a gander.
KFC At Christmas
Japanese people like Kentucky Fried Chicken so much that they eat it for Christmas dinner. The Japanese order what are called "Christmas Party Barrels" in advance, and eating KFC through the Christmas season is so popular orders can be placed up to two months in advance. On account of all of this ravenous feasting on giant barrels of fried factory farmed chicken, visiting Japan on December 26th is highly discouraged. Unless you wandering through hauntingly empty cities hearing no noises but for the constant sound of people groaning, stomachs gurling, and toilets flushing over and over again.
Hot Female Ronald McDonald That Clearly Wants To Bang You
The Japanese love Ronald McDonald plenty, but they were worried they didn't love him enough. "How can we love him more?" They thought, "What instead of a silly grin, we gave him f*ck me eyes and turned him into a really hot lady?" "Would we love him more then? Well we do like women wanting to have sex with us, let's give it a try." And thus Ronald McDonald the girl, was born. God she makes me really want to have sex with that hamburger.
Westerns
Japanese people are stoked on North American Western mythology. They love gun fights and gun slingers and high noon and all of that. Probably this is because of the obvious parallels between the exagerrated mythology of the cowboy and the Japanese Samurai. Which in films like Sukiyaki Western Django become mixed into one frenetic genre. Which is odd, because I feel like if a cowboy and samurai met in real life they'd probably get all huffy and try to kill each other, either that or they'd become fast friends and get a giant pair of pajamas for the both to sleep in together at night.
What are some other American things the Japanese should become obsessed with? Let us know in the comments!
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