A recent study asked three thousand adults in Great Britain what they couldn't live without, and some, surprisingly, answered superficially. Most notably, more people said they couldn't survive without Facebook, the place where we post pictures of ourselves to make sure we can never be hired by respectable employers, than said they couldn't live without a flushing toilet, a luxury we've been using since roughly 3100 BC.
I can see the logic here. If you didn't have a flushing toilet, you'd find somewhere to do your business. Yes, it will be less comfortable and yes, that would be a problem. But if you didn't have Facebook, then ALL of your problems are amplified! Because how would your friends know about said problems?
It doesn't seem so bad if all your friends and family members and ex-girlfriends are aware of it, right?
There were some other surprising results. The study found that more people believe they couldn't live without an internet connection than clean drinking water. This is, without question, untrue. Unless this is a thing.
I cannot imagine this is a thing.
The thing most Britons said they couldn't live without was sunlight. This must have been a harsh blow to sunlight's greatest rival, the Internet, which came in second place.
Look, Britain, I don't want to get down on you. We actually have a lot in common! I know you guys love Harry Potter and cookies, or as you call them, "biscuits", just as much as I do. But when you're rung up to participate in a survey about things you are unable to live without, at least ask if the survey is fun and jokey, or as you would put it, "cheeky". And if it is, then yeah, have fun with it! Say Facebook! Say Doctor Who! Say those silent British guards who don't ever laugh or smile even if you make faces or loud sounds around them!
But if it's a serious survey about what human beings actually need to survive, then say toilets. Say clean water. Don't say Facebook. You're making the entirety of western civilization look bad. And believe me...
... we don't need the help.
What couldn't you live without? I mean, besides Facebook? Let us know in the comments!
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