Conversational Ice Breakers for the Most Socially Awkward of Us

Mikey McCollor

You ever go to a party and have any idea how to start talking to people? What if you go up to them and sound stupid? What if they find you physically unappealing, as so many people in your life have? Well it's time to get over those anxieties, you unattractive idiot! Here are some guaranteed ice breakers for the most awkward of us!

 

"Who's Your Favorite Mortal Kombat Guy?"

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This is a good one because everyone's favorite Mortal Kombat guy is Scorpion, so you instantly have something in common.

 

"Care for a Cupcake?"

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This is a conversation starter that will only work if you have cupcakes to hand out. Some will say that it's too much work to gather supplies, spend the day baking, frosting and finishing an entire batch of cupcakes, but those people have never stood awkwardly outside a conversation circle not knowing what to say. There is nothing I wouldn't do to avoid that. I would turn every stone to dust. I would drain the largest ocean. I would punch the most powerful God. Anything to avoid being awkward at a social gathering.

 

"Fancy a Snog?"

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This is just the best conversation starter for so many reasons. 1. You're direct and get right to the point. 2. It's British so it sounds classy. The only reason to ever not use this ice breaker is if you're sure, I mean absolutely positive, you do not want to make out with that person.

 

Say Insane Things

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Everyone wants to talk to the weird, interesting guy at the party. Try suggesting that cats are robots piloted by smaller cats or that iPads are reincarnated plantains and soon everyone will be trying to get a handle on your, you know, unique worldview.

 

"AHEM. AHEM. AHE-AHE-AHE-AHEM"

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You can always pretend o clear your throat to get the attention of whoever you're trying to talk to, but there are some unseen dangers to this strategy. No matter how loud you think you're saying "ahem", you're always saying it quieter than you think. In fact, I'm so shy about it I've taken to wearing shirts that say "Ahem" on them and carrying a Yak Bak Pro with a pre-recorded sound clip of Jack Black straight screaming "AHEM".

 

"FREEZE!"

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Inject a little urgency into your ice breaking. Now, some people will react to having "FREEZE" shouted directly into their ear by running as fast as they can. These people are criminals. You don't want to associate with criminals, do you?

Winners don't use drugs!

 

Give an Arbitrary Compliment

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People are incredibly selfish creatures. If you say something nice about their shoes, their glasses, or their facial hair, they'll talk to you for hours about it. And while it's nice to have someone talking to you, this level of self-involvement can be disheartening. Don't these people realize there are children dying all over the world? Everyone at this party should be ashamed of themselves! Let's go buy a homeless man some tacos.

How have you gotten some sweet party conversations rolling? Let us know in the comments!

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