Remember that pivotal moment in Return of the Jedi when Darth Vader heroically throws the Emperor to his death, saving his son and turning back to the light side of the Force after decades of evil? That scene pretty much works, right? Well get ready to have Darth Vader's character shift spelled out to you in the new Star Wars Blu ray Special Edition, because George Lucas thinks you're an idiot -
So since we're apparently just dropping arbitrary lines of dialogue into one of the greatest film franchises of all time, here are our suggestions for new Darth Vader lines.
If there's one question neither the prequels or the original trilogy answered, it's what Darth Vader's favorite fast food was. Of course, later Star Wars novels would answer that question by showing Vader getting down with a Jumbo Jack in the time between Empire and Jedi, but it would be nice to see it on screen and confirm it as canon.
I remember wayching Revenge of the Sith and thinking "What did he expect would happen after he force choked her?" That's like throwing banana peels all over your house and shouting "NOOOOOO" when you slip.
A lot of people look at the the reveal scene in Empire as one of the most shocking and emotionally resonant surprises in all of film history, but I saw it as an insult. Why didn't I get to know this in A New Hope? Was I not mature enough to handle it? Let's add it in when Luke first meets sees Vader and change Luke's line in the before-mentioned reveal scene from "NOOOOO" to "I already KNOOOOOOOW".
It's kind of a big logic hole that Darth Vader never acknowledge C-3PO, a robot he made during his childhood. And Darth Vader, a character who was so worried about a prophecy foretelling his wife's death that he felt the need to Force-choke some sense into her, is nothing if not logical.
Here, Vader would be acting as the voice of the audience who might have watched Episodes 1-3 before A New Hope. By this point, they would presumably be missing Jar Jar Binks.
Remember, even though he's all reasonable about his role in Padme's death and nostalgic for his old racist gungan friend, Darth Vader is still not a pleasant person to deal with.
There are a lot of levels to this one. First, liking Fallout Boy shows the kids of today that Darth Vader is still hip. Second, everyone loves a snappy one-liner when one character kills another. And third, the fact that he kind of fumbles the line makes him relatable. "Aww, he's trying to quote pop culture and got it wrong! Just like me!" all of our uncles will say.
What lines would you love for Darth Vader to say? Let us know in the comments!
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