Everyone’s least-favorite New York Times bestselling author writes a lot more than some babble on paper; Snooki rambles all day long on Twitter. Some of us have a difficult time understanding her rare dialect, so I thought I could help those of you who can’t understand her.
“Off to jerz <3”
”I am currently en route to the Jersey Shore, the place where I reside. Also, I love you.”
”Stayin in watchin movies <3”
”Today, I have decided to be very productive, to an unbelievable extent. Also, I love you.”
”Today is just not my day.”
”Owing to a lack of funding, I have been forced to lease out this day to someone who is not I.”
”Morning tweedos! Arts and crafts day wohoo!”
”Today, my camp counselor has informed us that we will be creating both arts and crafts. I’m just thrilled.”
”Aw wah my sunglass site crashed !!! Please hold tweedos :(“
”Oh dear, the website that I made for my sunglasses is no longer properly functioning. Please wait a moment, tweeds.”
”Green tea is the sh*t ♥”
”I like green tea.”
”Apartment shopping is the worst!”
”It is such a travesty that none of the major department stores sell apartments anymore. Exclamation point.”
”Gettin my hair done ♥ yum”
”Currently, I am improving the poof of my hair. Also, I love you. Also, hair is delicious.”
”Hotel workout in my room lol...then sleeps ♥”
”There is a hotel workout in my room, therefore I am laughing out loud. Then, the hotel workout in my room sleeps. Also, I love you.”
”Welp welp welp.”
”This is a desperate cry for help. Please help me. Something is majorly wrong in my brain. Please. Anyone.”
”Scary movie time with my boo ♥”
”I screamed earlier today and I named my scream Boo. We are now watching a horror film together, because it is that time. Also, I love you.”
”WHEWWHEWWWW made it to 3 million followers! LOVE U GUYS!”
”We live in a sad, sad world.”
Translate Snooki’s tweets for us in the comments. Please. We’re desperate.
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