Robot girlfriends are better than regular girlfriends because unlike real girlfriends, robot girlfriends don't get a rash when you vigorously rub a cat on them. There are other reasons they are better too. I forgot most of them because I spend most of my time rubbing cats as hard and fast as I can on my many girlfriends. Nonetheless I thought of another reason: robot girlfriends are also great because they are totally customizable. You build them so you can include, or disinclude, whatever you want. But if you're going to build a robot girlfriend there are some things I would highly recommend not including, such as:
Hatred
Definitely don't add a safety setting above the settings "Love, clean, cook, and off." It will only lead to trouble, I promise you. I know you don't believe me. I know you think a hatred button would not only be a good idea, but a great idea on a robot girlfriend. I'm telling you, you couldn't be more wrong.
One Cleaning Hand, One Revenge Hand
Better to just have two cleaning hands.
A Horn On Her Forehead That Glows When She's Sad
Smart move, idiot, now everyone's gonna know when you make her sad.
A Second Butt
Do you have any idea how much fecal waste robot girlfriends make? And now you want to double that? Yo, that's a chump move son.
A Voice Chip That Only Has The Options, "James Earl Jones," or, "Kimmy Gibler"
These voice chips are easily the least expensive on the market, but I'm telling you man, you get what you pay for.
Two Barking Dogs Instead Of Boobs
They're cute for a little while, but good lord they bark at everyone. It's just the mailman alright you zany pair a' pups!
What else should you not include on your robot girlfriend? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment