Crazy bad, crazy weird or just out and out WTF crazy, these cartoons are all definitely crazy in their own special way. But they all have one thing in common. It is difficult to believe that anyone in their right mind ever thought these were worthy of airing on television where actual human beings, sometimes young human beings, would be viewing them. Here's just a few of the most dumbfounding cartoons ever made.
Hammerman
This turd starred what the producers billed as the 'world's first musical hero'. Who is this musical hero you might be asking? MC Hammer.Whomp wah! Hammer even 'raps' the intro to the show which basically lays out the plot in rhymes so lame you understand completely why Hammerman was canceled after 13 episodes and Hammer was banned from rap for life. Sorry Hammer! You were too illegit not to quit.
Toxic Crusaders
Troma, a production company known for shock exploitation films full of gore, sexual content and graphic violence, decided to make a cartoon version of their biggest hit, The Toxic Avenger and some TV network actually aired it!? Well it was Fox, I guess. And Fox back in the day would air anything. Not like the super high standards they have today. (previous sentence written in yet-to-be invented sarcasm font.)
Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos
This sounds like it could be a kick a** cartoon. I mean hello? Chuck Norris and his team battling the ruthless Super Ninja? Sounds rad. Then you see the crappy animation. And the live action Chuck imparting moral lessons at the end of every episode. And the Asian sidekick 'Too Much'. Facepalm! This Kommando Karate krap lasted five episodes. Five episodes 'too much' if you ask me.
Saturday Supercade
You can see how some video games might make interesting movies or television shows. But Frogger? Q-BERT!?! It's hard to imagine there would be anything to this show other than what you see in the intro. I mean after you get tired of saying "OMG! That's exactly like the video game!' you probably want some plot or 3 dimensional characters or something that's not Q-Bert, I'm thinking.
Mister T
The premise of this show is bananas. Mr. T is a gymnastics coach who not only solves mysteries but also stop terrorist attacks with his teenaged tumblers while they travel the country going to gymnastic meets. Hey can you lay off the pommel horse for a bit and help me stop a biological warfare scheme? Thanks, fool! Those parents must sign some crazy a** permission slips!
Rubik: The Amazing Cube
It's like ET and a Rubik's cube had a baby that you had an uncontrollable urge to kill. But as the theme song says...he's magical, he's lovable, and he's your friend. Your friend that you wanna kill.
Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling
If I wanted to enjoy cheesy plot lines and over-the-top characters I would just watch professional wrestling. Although I am curious about a world where Hulk Hogan was actually considered a hero and not just the father of some super d-baggy children. And he doesn't have luscious animated hair IRL.
Rambo: Forces Of Freedom
Because nothing says 'children's cartoon star' more than a Vietnam Vet suffering from PTSD. Also is it just me or is there something really inappropriate-seeming about the first few seconds of the intro. It's kind of FAP-py, am I right?
The Gary Coleman Show
Gary Coleman stars as an animated angel from heaven who just wants to help, in a show that is pretty much the equivalent of a basket of kittens sliding down a rainbow just to make an orphaned baby smile. So 'sweet' it'll actually make you barf. Although I have to admit, the fact that Gary Coleman has since suffered a tragic untimely death, does give it a slightly darker edge.
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes
The lead character of this show is a tomato turned human. A TOMATO TURNED HUMAN. And she has a FUZZY TOMATO DOG. Come on people. I'd rather watch Rubik: The Amazing Cube. Or wait...no I wouldn't. GAH! It's like being stuck between a rock poo and a hard turd.
New Kids On The Block
This is a show about how difficult it is for the members of this particularly loathsome boy band to constantly escape their throngs of crazed teen fans. Think Beliebers of the early 90's. Were they called Blockheads? Not sure but it would be quite fitting. It would also be a fitting name for the people who gave this show the greenlight. More like the wrong stuff, NKOTB!
What's your favorite WTF cartoon? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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