They make meat out of all sorts of things. Did you know that you can make meat out of someone's karma? Most meat, however, is made from animals. The most popular animal to make meat out of in the United States is by far the blue whale. Somewhere way down the list is cows. Regardless of these alarming but true statistics, we're all used to eating certain parts of animals. We eat the breasts and the legs, we eat their thighs and their wings. But meat is made from all sorts of parts of the animal besides those, some pretty gnarly parts. So while you're busy slurping up blue whale breast meat take a gander these animal parts they make meat out of and see whether you agree with me they are sound really f*cking gross:
Brains
The last part of an animal I want to eat is the part of the animal where it stores all its fantasies about having sex with other animals.
Feet
If my feet are as dirty as they are, I can't even imagine how dirty a cows feet are. I walk around all day on hard wood floors and tile and at the end of the day my feet are black on the bottom and covered in grit, a pig stands very still all day in a 5 foot by 3 foot pen crapping on its own feet. And do you know why it craps on its own feet? Because that is one of the main precepts of its religion.
Blood
The English thought it would be a good idea to let pig blood coagulate, then boil it and eat it. They also thought it would be a good idea to have Mr. Bean exist. That is why the sign you see when you're entering England says, "England - Welcome to Hell."
The Insides Of Bones
In order to eat the marrow you have to crack open bones with your bare hands and suck on the ends of the bones. You know who else cracks open bones and sucks out the meat? Trolls and Evil Giants. Those should not be your role models.
That Thing On Top Of A Rooster's Head
It's called a cockscomb, and it looks about as tasty as a tire covered in burned human skin. Have you ever looked at a rooster and thought, "Boy I'd like to bite that thing on the top of it's head off." No, you haven't, because the things you think you make sense.
Fallopian Tubes
Why in god's name would anyone let this happen? The only reason to eat a fallopian tube is if there's a tiny gynecologist living in your mouth who can help heal the fallopian tube.
What other parts of animals do you wish they wouldn't make meat out of? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment