Peeing in public is nerve wracking for a lot of people. You've got your junk out, just standing there, with people walking by and high-fiving and laughing behind you. Every now and again, usually, someone will pinch you on the bum right as you start to go. Public restrooms are the worst man. But there are some things you can do to help yourself get over your fear of peeing in public:
Pee Louder
That way the sound of your pee streaming out of you with such force that it's cracking the enamel of the urinal will let everyone know who's boss.
Grip The Sides Of The Urinal And Stare Down At Your Junk Like Something's Very Wrong
No one is going to screw with you if you think there's something so wrong with your junk that you want to stop being, but all you can do is stare down at the horror unfolding before you.
Hold Your Friend's Hand
It always calms people down to hold a good friend's hand, and it's no different while peeing.
Wear A Disguise
That way no one will know it's you!
Have Three Baby Dragons Crawling On Your Body
You won't just be not afraid of peeing, you'll never be afraid of anything again. Try to be afraid of something when you have control over three baby dragons, I bet you can't!
Have Orlando Bloom Walk In The Bathroom And Tell Everyone He's Your Friend
You'll be way too distracted by everyone asking you what it's like to be Orlando Bloom's friend to even remember that you're scared.
Make Your Dad Hug You From Behind While You're Peeing
Father's strong arms make you know that it's gonna be alright, no matter how long you have to pee. Make sure he's holding you as hard as he can for maximal courage, and to make you feel even better it's a good idea to have him slowly rub his ruddy chin on the top of your head comfortingly.
How else can you make yourself feel safer about peeing? Let us know in the comments!
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