New Brain Hat Technology Can Read your Thoughts!

Mikey McCollor

For those who picked the researchers at the University of London and Mindlab International for your Fantasy Science teams, get ready to be excited! These guys have created technology that can read your brain!



"Oh, you got FANCY brain reading technology now, huh?"
(source)

This new system can record your eye movements and create a display with small green blobs that chart where you're looking. For instance, this test subject is interested in an informative article about income tax reform.



"And why wouldn't he be? It's a hot button issue."
(source)

Furthermore, the technology can actually gauge the level of engagement and excitement inspired by what you're seeing. How exactly will this impact our lives? For one, television companies would be able to see exactly how engaged an audience is with a particular show. After all, TV's only job is to keep you entertained. I know the continued presence of Two and a Half Men seems to contradict this, but just go with me here.



"And we're CERTAIN the meter that measures enjoyment is turned on?"
(source)

Furthermore, we tend to be less interested and excited in what we're saying when we lie, so this technology could function as a lie detector. That means this sweet brain hat could go on a politician and we could know for certain if they were really passionate about the new income tax reform bill or if they're just going through the motions.



"We must rally against that thing we hate! Or support it! Whatever you guys! Want to do!"
(source)

Maybe this starts us down a slippery slope, though. Do we want our interest charted by science? Will the art of pretending to care about other people's vacation photos be lost forever? And if some computer is showing everyone around us exactly how uncomfortable we are, how are kids supposed lie to their friends about how many girls they've made out with?



"Handshakes do so count as making out!"
(source)

From my perspective, however, one huge positive that could come from this thought-reading technology is that people will have to say what they're actually thinking. No more bottling up of feelings, no more sugar-coating harsh things to protect other people's feelings, and for sure no more lying. Imagine what mankind could do if they were just honest with each other! Marriages already destined to fail could end sooner and more amicably. No one would go out anymore with weird hair. And we could all finally admit that we don't at all care about income tax reform.



"I feel like I have so much more time for myself now that I'm not always debating income tax reform!"
(source)

Are you at all creeped out by this? Do you want to display your brain to those around you? Or is your interest level in any given subject your own business? Let us know in the comments!

 

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