So I'm sure we will all never forget September 14th, 2011, the day the internet was rocked by the release of Scarlett Johansson nudey pics. AKA The day half of all red-blooded American males took a sick day. Henceforth officially declared National FAP Day.
In case you need your memory freshened, here's a dramatic re-enactment of the photos in question, including mandatory mirror pic duck lips:
Turns out the FBI was already on the case, conducting a massive investigation into celebrity phone hacking known as Operation Hackarazzi--sadly, I'm not making that up. The feds were determined to uncover the persons responsible for violating the privacy of not only ScarJo but tons of other celebs, including Mila Kunis and Christina Aguilera. It must have been uncomfortable to delve deep into the seedy world of celebrity sexts and naked hotel photo sessions, but hey! Someone's gotta do it!
Yesterday, Operation Hackarazzi led to the arrest of a perp! And yeah...he kind of looks like the parents' basement dwelling loner you'd expect. 35-year-old Christopher Chaney was indicted Wednesday on 26 counts of computer hacking, aggravated identity theft and illegal wire-tapping. He’s accused of figuring out the e-mail account passwords of Hollywood stars, then having their e-mails forwarded to his own account. Chaney has claimed he is deeply remorseful for his actions and plans on pleading guilty to the charges. He also claims to be relieved that he was busted because the guilt was 'eating at him.' I bet.
On a side note, doesn't he look strangely similar to the guy in this ScarJo meme?
Chaney claims that he did not do it for the money, but that he was obsessed with celebrities and became addicted to accessing their private information. And by addicted to accessing their information, I'm pretty sure he means finding pictures of their boobies.
So the FBI has saved the day! All the celebs can go back to stupidly taking nude pics of themselves that'll probably be leaked and then pretending to be shocked at the violation of their privacy. And all you amateur sleuths are off the hook. So you can stop pretending that you want to protect her and go back to staring at your ScarJo nude pic wallpaper as you go on a date with Scarlet Jo-hand-son.
What do you think of the whole celebrity hacker situation? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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