Super Geeky Names For Your Baby

Mikey McCollor

In the past, people used to name their children after their favorite relative or a meaningful Biblical figure. Thank God we have pop culture now, so we can name our babies after things that aren't boring as sh*t. Here are the best geeky names for your baby.

 

Brandon (Stark)

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Naming your baby after Brandon Stark from Game of Thrones will make everyone think he has a regular, not geeky name. Just make sure you never let anyone catch you whispering "Stark" under your breath whenever you say your son's name.

 

(First Name) Horde (Last Name)

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Hopefully that'll keep the stupid brat from ever playing Alliance.

 

Bring Back Firefly

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Every other strategy has been tried to bring it back. Maybe literally naming another human being not just AFTER a character from Firefly but the name "Bring Back Firefly" will convince those boneheads down at 20th Century Fox to give this intricate space-opera another shot!

 

(Name of a Friend Who Controls the Ore or Grain in Settlers of Catan)

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You can barter the name of your first born child with whoever is producing the most Ore or Grain. This is a fool-proof way to ensure not only that you begin building settlements early in the game but also that your child hates you forever!

 

John Locke

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This name refers to both a character from Lost and a respected philosopher, so your son can get in with the high-minded crowd and the slightly-less-high-minded-but-still-pretty-high-minded crowd with one stroke.

 

(Your Favorite Obscure Character from Star Wars)

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It used to be that kids would get beat up for being named after somthing geeky, but now that being so passionate about specific pieces of pop culture, specifically Star Wars, are so popular, it's going to be those with the really interesting names that will pick on those with the really boring pop culture name. That's why your son Stass Allie will be much more popular than his classmates like Han Johnson, Boba McGuire, and Grand Moff Tarkin Ramirez.

 

No Water, Bottom Floor, Door on the Left from Hookshot Target

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If you name your baby daughter after the location of the hardest to find small keys in Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time's Water Temple, you'll never forget where it is again! Although, the longer you play the Water Temple, the more problems you'll run into. You should have a second child and name them Don't Go Down that Second Corridor on the Because that's Just Where The Compass Is.

With what geeky name do you hope to ruin your child's life with? Let us know in the comments!

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