Very Best Of FMyLife: Sleep Edition

FMyLife

Sleep is a happy time where you can dream about flying through the air while all around you the girls from your chemistry class are making out with each other in the clouds, but sleep can just as easily make you say F My Life! That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best sleep related FML moments this week!

 

No One Ever Survives Having Braces

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML

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You Are A Heavy Sleeper

Today, after pulling an all nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

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You Are Why We Need Education Reform

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

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What Were They Doing?

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

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Is Your Daughter A Powerful Ghost?

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

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Only Men Do That

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

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Return The Favor

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

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Never Go Out With A Basset Hound, Is The Lesson Here

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

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Now You Must Hit Them All

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

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My Plan Worked Perfectly

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

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