I don't know about you, but I make excuses at the gym all the time. After all, two sets is basically the same as three sets, right? Right. But if I were a video game character, and the bratty kid who faked sick to play my game all day pressed the B button, I would have no excuses. I would have to jump and I would have to jump as many times as he pressed it. How do video game characters prepare themselves for this physically? Read on to find out the exercise routines of video game characters.
Mario
Mario does nothing but bicep curls and squat thrusts since he can lift Bomb-Ombs triple his size and punch through bricks with his fist. Clearly he's very strong, but he just can't seem to lose lose that gut. Are these 1 Up Mushrooms made of chocolate mousse and butter? Maybe he should quit riding his Yoshi down to the World 2-3 Donut Shop and do some cardio?
Master Chief
Every day it's 150 lunges each leg for Master Chief. He doesn't want to have his legs give out when he's tea-bagging a n00b out in the field.
Squall Leonhart
Squall Leonhart doesn't get much working out done when he gets to the gym as he is often too busy tenderly kissing his reflection in the mirror. Mm. That's nice.
Samus Aran
Working out in athletic shorts and a tank top outfit is far easier for Samus than putting on her 250 plus pound suit of armor. It does make everyone at the gym less comfortable when she does crunches and curls her body into an unnaturally perfect sphere.
That Squidward-Looking Guy from LA Noire
Most days LA Noire goes to the gym and just talks to the owner for six hours. Like, he does a lot of talking. The owner gives up on the conversation long before anything interesting happens.
Alex Mercer Prototype
Alex Mercer from Prototype just goes to the gym on the same days as Cole from inFamous and does whatever workout he's doing except a little worse.
Chris Redfield
Because he has nothing to do in between viral outbreaks, Chris Redfield spends most of his time in the gym. He's got this six hour, twice-daily regimen that seems to be working out pretty well for him. You'll often catch Chris Redfield working his delts, his quads, his bis, his tris, his thighs, his pecs, his glecs, his chests, his lower back, his upper back, his alt universe back, his knuckles, his taint, his left ab, his neck, his brain, and his right ab all in the same day.
Do these video game character's workouts inspire you to get up off the couch and get to the gym? Or does it make you want to play their games and stay right there on your couch? Don't worry, we can sort out all these conflicting desires in the comments.
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