Fighting Game Characters I Would Most Like To Have Help Me Move Out Of My Apartment

Mikey McCollor

There's an issue in the United States that gets nowhere near the amount of coverage it deserves - moving is WAY too hard for the average citizen. Did you know you have to both pack your stuff up AND unpack it again later? So even though I was supposed to be out of my place by the first of this month, I ignored the work I was supposed to do and played fighting games instead. And of course, as I let my escape and anxieties mix, I started thinking of which fighting game characters would be good to help me move.

 

Zangief

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First of all, he clearly he has the brute strength to lift the heaviest boxes of books right over his head. Zangief would also be great to have at the post-moving celebration, since Vodka is like Russian water.

 

Scorpion

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I wonder if Scorpion can just go over to the new place, yell "get over here" and harpoon over all my stuff from the old apartment? And even if that trick doesn't work, he's still probably a strong guy and a hard worker.

 

E. Honda

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His Thousand Hand Slap would be great for getting sofas through small doorways.

 

Link

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Maybe if he had the Golden Gauntlets, he could lift, like, a chest of drawers or something. But if not, you always need a quick little guy running around, picking up all the loose ends you never think about. Pairs of shoes and plastic grocery bags of shaving cream and mouthwash? Give them to Link. It's always a good call to have someone helping you move who has an inventory.

 

Team Venom, Chris Redfield, and Magneto

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These were the only guys I ever played as in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, so I would love to see them repay the favor by helping me move. Magneto would obviously be good at moving my steel filing cabinets, and Venom and Chris are the perfect combination of strong enough to move a new refrigerator up the stairs and dumb enough to not complain about it.

 

Ken

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Doesn't he just seem like the kind of guy who would have a truck? I'll bet Ken has a truck.

 

Ivy

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Every moving crew needs a manager - someone to direct the flow of traffic and assign tasks. No one is more suited to this task than the domineering, whip-wielding Ivy. She could keep that Zangief lifting boxes of books all day, I tell you what. The only downside to having Ivy manage my move is that I'd need to spring for Papa John's, since Ivy would NOT find Little Caesar's hobo garbage pizza acceptable.

Then again, neither should any human being, really.

Who do you think would be a good help? Maybe someone from Tekken? Give some suggestions in the comments!

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