I go to the grocery store about four times a week because I'm irresponsible and buy only what I'm out of, not what I need long term. But because of this, I've spent a lot of time looking at food and thinking about the design of the packaging and even the implementation of the food itself and how it could all be improved. Undoubtably, the leading designer of computer products, Apple, would have something to say about the haphazard designs of some of these basic food items. Here's how I feel they would improve upon them.
Swiss Cheese
While Apple designers undoubtably find the use of negative space in swiss cheese interesting, they would probably want to use that space to provide more low-cost cheese to the consumer at an astounding price. So, with that in mind, what if you could turn ANY cheese into swiss cheese with a simple tap? What if you could simply touch a certain area of the swiss cheese and eject a perfect cylinder of cheese? Now you have a string cheese and a swiss cheese. Want a second string cheese to provide a friend? Yes, this cheese supports multi-touch.
Milk
What if milk could, I don't know, be stored in the cloud? Not a digital cloud like your music, but in a literal cloud above the United States that would provide on-demand milk for the entirety of the nation? I don't know if that's the solution, because it literally could not make any less sense, but someone at Apple needs to take a look at milk, as the current buy-a-gallon-and-drink-it-all-before-it-expires model is long out of date.
Pasta
With an iTunes pasta store, you could buy individual pieces of pasta for just a few cents each. This would help little known pastas make their name known and keep you from having to buy an entire bag of pasta only to get the one piece of spaghetti you want.
Loaves of bread
I like to think that, to balance the hell, all loaves of Apple bread would be cut in half and have the crust shaved down at a gradient so that on one end we would have a pure inside piece to balance the pure crust piece at the end. Granted, Android already HAS an app that will turn a heel piece into an all bread piece, but there are ads all over Android bread and it never really feels the way bread should.
Lunchables
Honestly, Lunchables would stay exactly the same. They already look like they were designed by Apple, what with their sleek form and easily accessed content.
Coffee
What if your coffee choices could be electronically stored and you could rate your favorite roasts? Then, your coffee maker could read your selections and produce a "genius brew" that could potentially open you up to new coffee experiences you didn't even know you wanted?!
Yeah, I know, it never works that way for me, either.
Actual apples
Instead of having to clumsily chomp into a big round block of fruit, Apple would design apples so that each bite could be managed on it's own, perhaps engineering it into a single column with bites radiating from the center so you could store your apple progress in an easy to find application. Apple understands that you don't have time to eat an entire apple. You want Apple to manage your apples with an Apple-powered apple app.
What food would you like to see Apple set its' sights on? Let us know in the comments!
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