Happy Feet 2 offers us a look into the day to day lives of penguins. The Director, George Miller, has himself stated that his, "... heart aches to bring the reality, the challenges, and the tragedy... of the real lives of penguins to the big screen. For the absence of truth is the entrance of darkness." But how realistic is Happy Feet really? Let's take a look at some difference between the way the film portrays penguin life, and the way penguin life actually is.
Penguins Can't Fly
In Happy Feet 2, Erik the young Penguin who doesn't like to dance encounters a charismatic father figure named Master Sven, who has the gift of flight. In real life, instead of flying, penguins just waddle around like ass*oles waiting to get washed out to sea by the effects of global warming.
Penguins Can't Dance
Penguins don't dance. And if any Penguin tried to dance, the other Penguins would get startled pick up ice bricks with their tiny but muscular wings, and beat him to death for trying to be different.
Penguins Are Hesitant To Band Together With Seals, On Account Of The Quick Death That Would Follow
In real life if Mumble tried to "unite the Penguin empire" with the Elephant seals almost instantly the leopard seals would bark confusedly at one another, and then crush and destroy every Penguin that foolishly tried to startle them awake with its incessant honking.
Krill Are Useless Sh*t For Brains
You try and get a Krill to help you save yourself, see what happens. You know what happens? I'll tell you what happens. Here's the scenario:
You: "Hey, little Krill, can you help me defeat the great evil that has taken over my land?"
Krill: Silence.
You, getting closer: "Krill, please, it is a very great evil."
Krill: Wiggles it's antenna. Dies from fear.
Mumble And Gloria Would, Alas, Be Star-Crossed
Penguin couples are monogamous during mating season, and everything's all lovey dovey. But, in real life, come next mating season, Mumble could give a crap about Gloria, cuz they be plenty of Penguin ladies and Mumble wants a taste of it all. It would be a lot let romantic if in Happy Feet 2 Gloria's running around with Erik and they see Mumble banging some other Penguin tail, and Gloria's, all like, "Why are you doing this?!?" and Mumble's all like, "Because I can!"
Wandering Off From Your Penguin Crew, Not The Move
Erik runs away from his family and ends up on an exciting adventure that teaches him who he really is. Penguin experts call foul on this, and suggest that in real life when a Penguin "runs away," what actually happens is they take off in a single direction and don't stop walking until they die from exhaustion. So here's what the "realistic" Happy Feet 2 would be about: Erik is out there somewhere miles from his family walking himself to death, while the real Mumble is getting laid by some lady Penguin that's not his mom, and his mom is being torn to shreds by starving by Leopard Seals.
What would you like to see in Happy Feet 3? Let us know in the comments!
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