In today’s multimedia world, classic board game have been pushed aside or forgotten completely. But with a few additions and some new rules, these games can prove they still have what it takes to entertain this holiday season.
Monopoly
What’s Needed: Various rocks, twigs and chickens, Lego minifigs dressed in rags, pieces from Mouse Trap
New Rules: In today’s bottomed-out economy no one can afford to buy real estate. So replace the Monopoly money with twigs, chickens and other barter items, get rid of the tokens in favor of wandering minifig cannibals, rename all properties “No Man’s Land” and erect a Thunderdome/Kill Field in the middle of the board with Mouse Trap pieces. The watch as society falls apart.
The Game of Life
What’s Needed: Additional non-player
New Rules: Replace the spinning wheel with a non-player who acts as “Vengeful God,” telling the actual players where to go, how many kids to have and why insurance policies are worthless in the face of his almighty wrath. Players can try to suck up to “Vengeful God” by sacrificing the small peg people in his name or killing the other players to spread his word.
Clue
What’s Needed: Sordid background details, compromising photos, unfounded yet undeniably juicy rumors
New Rules: Finally give a reason behind the murder with a shocking scandal that may no longer make the game family friendly but will make even the losers excited to hear the sleazy truth.
Risk
What’s Needed: Timer, bucket of dirty sea water, several packs of firecrackers
New Rules: How will your game end? The best army wins, the long firework fuse sets off thermonuclear armageddon or the timer counts down to Mayan end times with a huge tidal wave of sea water that washes over the coffee table and your mom’s good carpet?
Scrabble
What’s Needed: Complete lack of human decency
New Rules: Split all letter titles between two players. Have each spell out on the game board a particularly harsh criticism or truthful yet unkind comment about the other player. Winner is the one who can stop crying first and rebuild their shattered life.
Sorry
What’s Needed: Tiny guns, tiny swords, huge vendettas
New Rules: Reconfigure the most passive-aggressive game ever conceived by finally bring all the competition and bitter anger to the surface, thanks to miniscule weapons and replacing the word “Sorry!” with a string of curses and a fist pump.
What would you want a board game you invented to be like? Let us know in the comments!
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