Oh man. Mariah Yeater has really done it now. By claiming her three month old baby was sired by Justin Bieber, she has unleashed the wrath of the entire Justin Bieber Media and Legal Team™.
"Release the Bieber!"
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Calling this a "bogus scandal", Bieber’s team has threatened legal action against Yeater for her supposedly false allegations. They believe "it's important to show that there are consequences when you make hurtful allegations against someone". It sounds like the Bieber posse wants to make an example out of this here Yeater gal. And thank God for that; we can't have every outlaw ridin' into town sayin' untrue things about celebrities, now can we?
"You said WHAT about Miss Ah-gee-lara?"
(source)
So might this child be the biological heir to the Bieber empire? The part of Yeater's story that makes it sound like an accidental pregnancy was likely is the fact that it happened in 2010 when Bieber was only seventeen. Since at least the advent of the written word, no other group has ever known less about sex than seventeen year old boys.
"The vagina has a WHAT now?"
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Bieber and his team are anxious to take a paternity test, but as he's currently on a European tour, he's going to wait until he returns to the United States to take one. Which is probably a smart move.
Europe's finest paternity test.
(source)
Now, obviously I have no way of knowing either way, but if I had to guess, I'd say the baby isn't Bieber's because, come on, it's Justin Bieber. If you are going to hook up with Justin Bieber, it's going to be in a suite at the Hilton on a bed made of Ghiradelli chocolate with endangered birds flying around. It's not going to be in the bathroom at the Staples Center, okay? That's where regular people go to have sex.
Not the best first date. Also, not the worst first date.
(source)
So is the baby a Bieber? Place your bets in the comments!
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