Modern Warfare 3 keeps it real, son. The levels are giant, burnt hellscapes of war and conflict. The streets, littered with blood and bent steel, form a horrific playground for kids excited to throw themselves into the darkness of violent resolution. But the levels, at a certain point, start to lose their effectiveness as repetitivity sets in. By the end most players get pretty tired of the same turned over smoking shells of tanks and exploded roads. Here are some levels I suggest, just to add much needed variety to the game.
Wal-Mart
What Modern Warfare-aholic wouldn't be excited to take out the real enemy: people who shop at Wal-Mart. Bonus points in online mode for the team that finds the cheapest matching christmas sweaters for their team.
The Mushroom Kingdom
Someone needs to put that pompous bastard Yoshi out of our misery. That someone is you. Gear up, soldier.
The Secret Island The 1% Live On
It's about time someone turned that paradise into a nightmare. Keeping the 99% in the dark about the place where happy looking dogs drink from clear rivers and you can take a bite out of a rainbow. Yeah, well, see if we don't up and frag that place to smithereens, Richard Branson and friends.
Michael Bay's House
Michael's made millions, maybe billions of dollars portraying war as an exciting heck of a a good time where attractive, sarcastic heartthrobs go to prove how manly they are by killing other people. It's time he sees what war is really like in the comfort of his own home, and the terrible toll it exacts on us all. HOT TIP: You can get a secret level to open up if you can use diplomacy to get Michael to button up his shirt.
A Giant Rotating Pizza Occupied By Ravenous Herman Cain Heads
Ask not what your pizza can do for you, ask what ammo works best againt ravenous floating Herman Cain heads who have taken control of your pizza.
Hogwarts
Slytherin won't stop producing evil wizards? Easy. Send in Tastk Force 141 to take out Slytherin.
A House In A Suburban Community Ruled By Giants
Ack! That cat is so big! Giants have giant cats! We're going to need to figure out a way to find some giant spools of thread as rope to get up to the counter! This is Task Force 141's toughest assignment yet!
What other levels should be in Modern Warfare 3? Let us know in the comments!
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