Pika! Pikaaaaa! Those are the sounds of PIkachu's screams as doctors use a fine razor to remove his testicular sack from underneath his tail. It's the law in many states to have your Pikachu spayed or neutered (which is a far cry from Mississippi's Psyduck total extermination policy). In many states however, it's up to you to decide whether or not to spay or neuter your Pikachu. Here below is a handy guide to the likely benefits and potential drawbacks of doing so, so whatever decision you end up making, you can rest assured it's an informed one.
He'll Be Calmer
Most Pikachus that get spayed/neutered tend to become significantly calmer. They tend to stay closer to home, and are much more likely to cuddle.
He Might Be Too Calm
Some Pikachus, distraught over the loss of their sexual organs become hopelessly depressed and spend almost all of their time slumped on the couch eating hazelnut ice cream out of a light bulb, barely paying attention to the Sandra Bullock romantic comedy they have on repeat.
Balding
The chemical effect of eliminating their reproductive glads can have the unfortunate side effect of sometimes severe balding. A few Pikachus merely thin out, most though, if they start losing hair, tend to lose a vast majority. Even more unfortunately, Pikachus are apparently very vain about their hair and often overcompensate with comb overs, which never look good.
Excessive Swearing
In both male and female Pikachus, spaying and neutering creates a rapid upsurge in the testorone hormone, which in many cases causes the animals to forget their manners and unleash a torrent of harsh swearing, even in front of children.
Some Murder
Less than 8% of Pikachus who are spayed or neutered can't seem to stop killing, no matter what, no matter who gets in their way. On the flipside though, from the constant influx of human blood, their noses get softer.
They Tend Conservative
On average Pikachus who have their sexual organs removed skew conservative at a 24% higher rate than Pikachus whose sexual organs remain intact.
"That Sh*t Is Money!"
By far the worst side effect, the side effect that ends up giving most people deciding about whether to go through with the surgeory pause. Over 40% of spayed or neutered Pikachus, for whatever reason, react to almost everything that happens by shouting "That Sh*t Is Money!" and throwing up the West Coast. A gesture that is hopelessly outdated.
What other unexpected complications are side effects occur when Pikachus are spayed or neutered? Let us know in the comments!
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