FMyLife
Being pregnant is an amazing and beautiful time in a woman's life where she can finally do the things she's always wanted to do: gain dozens of pounds, have uncontrollable gas, and abstain from all forms of vice; but being pregnant can just as easily make you say F My Life! That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best pregnancy related FML moments this week!
I Hope She's Giving Birth To Condoms
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML
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Her Baby Is Cheeseburgers!
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
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Ah, The Joys Of Fatherhood
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
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Actually, I Do Think That Counts
Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
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The Hard Truth Of The World
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
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So, You're A Reality Show
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
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Babies Are Wretched Apes
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
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Pregnant Women Get Unusual Cravings
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
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Are You Cylons?
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
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