Would Mewtwo Make A Good Dad?

Daniel Dominguez

Mewtwo was created by heartless scientists hellbent on creating the world's most powerful Pokemon by genetically altering a common Mew to make it more aggressive and battle worthy. Which naturally begs the question: would it make a good father? 

 

Well, maybe, let's take a look at some basic Mewtwo character traits and find out:

 

Psychic Powers

So he can always know when he child is hungry, or needs sleep. Most parents have no idea what their baby wants when it's crying. Thanks to the strange sack on Mewtwo's neck full of psychic juice, he would always know.

 

Unspeakable, Endless Anger

Mewtwo cares only about battle and destruction. That's not a great environment to raise a child in. As there would constantly be such conversations as, "Daaaaddd, I'm hungry microwave me a Hot Pocket.,"  Mewtwo:" Quiet Jimmy, I'd make  you a Hot Pocket, but I'm too busy being hell bent on battle and destruction."

 

No Gender Identity

Mewtwo is neither male nor female, so a child raised by Mewtwo would have not gain any sense of its gender from it. However, statistics show that LGBT parents tend to be very caring, and their children tend to be considerate, compassionate, and high performers in school. So this is an overall plus.

 

Living In Cerulean Cave Would Be A Bummer For A Kid

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There aren't a lot of kids for a child to be friends with in Cerulean cave, and any time he tried to befriend one of the high level Pokemon in there it would engage him in open combat and completely destroy. As child type children are weak weak against all Pokemon types.

 

Harsh Punishments

(source)

Mewtwo tend to punish their children by firing Shadow Ball attacks at them. While it's a less annoying punishment than being grounded all summer, it is instantly fatal.

 

Father/Son Sack Races

The thrill of competing with your Dad against other Dad/kid combos in a sack races is one of the principal joys of child hood. But getting into a sack makes Mewtwo flashback to the horror it felt being back in the lab getting experimented on, so it lashes out wildly in all directions attempting to kill anything that looks even remotely human.

 

Mewtwo Breast Milk Is Extremely Nutritious

Mewtwo breast milk is even more potent than human milk when it comes to providing human babies with the proper level of nutrition they need to grow strong healthy bones and skin. Unfortunately, suckling on one of Mewtwo's nipples, like trying to get a Mewtwo into a sack, makes it flashback to the horror it felt being back in the lab getting experimented on genetically, so almost no children survive the experience.

 

How else might Mewtwo make a good/bad parent? Let us know in the comments!

 

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