We’ve all heard of the artistic photographical surprise that is “planking.” But what if pirates were to take over the world and force everyone to walk the plank? We’d be forced to walk all over each other, living like it’s Black Friday every day. To avoid this incredibly plausible scenario, here’s a list of other pose fads to try.
Lamping
The key to lamping is to seem like you blend in with the furniture, lending a Where’s Waldo-esque game to the fad. The problem becomes when someone attempts to turn you on, at which point you’ll only be able to post this one on the porn blogs.
Kayaking
If you’re looking for a more communal experience, why not give kayaking a try? We’re not suggesting you really get in a boat and hitting the rapids; it’s probably cold out. Instead, hop in a tub or other unlikely confining space and position your arms like you’re some kind of Winklevoss. The photo will serve two purposes: it proves that you have friends, and it shows you know a bit about an activity that requires athletic ability.
Fetusing
How adorbs is this one? No one can be annoyed with you for fetusing in random places, since everyone has assumed this position at one point. You’re simply recreating the experience, minus the rudeness of placenta.
Milking
For those with a more devious edge, why not sneak-attack an innocent sleeper? The key is to get the photo in after the nipple squeeze has taken place but before the victim distorts his/her (let’s stick with “his”) face in terror and/or pleasure.
Janitoring
Finally, a way to channel our narcissistic energy into improving the world. By taking a photo of yourself picking up trash, you’re effectively “like”-ing the planet. But yes, you have to follow through in throwing out the crap after the flash goes off. We’ll know if you didn’t.
Sitting
Not to be confused with simply “sitting,” this is sitting… with an audience. The difference lies within the intention, but a proper sit can only be validated by the viewer’s reception. It’s a form of performance art, perhaps an offshoot of the fluxus movement/non-movement.
Dumping
Also not to be confused with sitting, this is sitting with the intention of pretending to defecate. The humor derives from the inappropriateness of the chosen dump location and the severity of the imagined sphincter blockage.
Snailing
Did you see the snailing in last week’s Smosh video? That stuff is hilarious. We should really make that a thing. Snailing looks funny on anyone! Bonus points if you figure out a way to leave a trail of slime. NOT LIKE THAT.
Do you guys have other ideas for new fads? Take pictures of yourselves doing these or making up your own and tweet them to me at @jessicapoter!
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