How I Know Santa Doesn't Exist

Mercedes Elkoff

I’m really sick of this. I've suspended disbelief a LONG time, but it’s getting freaking obvious.

I Get Presents Even When I'm Not Nice

If there actually was a naughty and nice list, I’d have enough coal to fuel a large train.

Is the sleigh weather proof? Pretty sure it has no roof. Don’t know how that would work during the Canadian portion of his trip.

Maybe he can get around the whole world in a night, but he definitely can’t be in thousands of malls all over the world AT THE SAME TIME.

Reindeer are not known to be efficient modes of transportation, even on the ground.

Similarly, If you had to make THAT many toys…why would you hire elves who probably have tiny hands?

Last time I checked, Apartment buildings don’t have chimneys.

Maybe Santa can “magically” fit down the chimney, but there’s no way he can avoid making a mess…does he bring a cleaning crew?

Can’t find his address listed anywhere. How do parents mail the lists?

My dog barks at the mailman but not a huge man dressed in red carrying a sack and shoveling cookies in his mouth?

Last year we gave him Fig Newtons and he ate them. I have a hard time believing that Santa would eat Fig Newtons.

Do you believe in Santa? Let us know in the comments!