If Famous Horror Movies Were Rated "G"

Francesco Marciuliano

Everybody loves a good scare, But not everyone is old enough to see a good scary movie. But with a few story changes and a new rating that can all-too-easily and regrettably be changed…

 

A Nightmare on Elm Street

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When he tries to steal one of Happy Dreamland’s magical “Forty Winks,” sleep fairy Freddie Kruger is banished to scary Slums-berville to work only on nightmares. There with his faithful pet Catnap, Freddie has to turn six bad dreams into fun-filled fantasies before the Happy Dreamland alarm goes off and the Snooze Buzzer Orcs imprison him for five more minutes.

 

Saw

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Teenager Larry “Doc” Gordon wakes up to find himself sitting in a nice comfy chair Then an adorable puppet rides up to him on a small tricycle and says, “Do you recognize this voice?” At that moment over the room’s speakers we hear someone say, “Larry! Dude! I haven’t seen you since Pee Wee Football!” This causes Gordon to jump out his chair and yell, “No way! Adam, is that you?!” Adam comes running into the room and the two old friends are reunited after many years. This makes the puppet so happy that gets off his tricycle and rides a big boy bike for the very first time.

 

Dawn of the Dead

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When Jenny threw that coin in the fountain and wished she was “the smartest person in the world,” little did she know that would make everybody else brain dead. Now the entire planet is chasing Jenny, moaning and wanting a piece of her mind. Can Jenny find the coin she tossed in time to wish everything back to normal before she also becomes an idiot and forgets how to get home in time for dinner?

 

Hostel

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Best friends and elementary students Pax and Josh are on a class field trip to the TechFest Expo when a visiting Russian student tells them of a secret booth where they keep all the neatest video games. But when they get there the two buddies must face off against an evil game businessman in a series of Wii Animal Crossing challenges to save the day and Pax’s best girl Yuki.

 

Scream

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When Sidney becomes the target of Ghostface, she knows it’s because of that strange board game she and her friends found in the mysterious basement in that peculiar house on Bizarre Road. Now they have to finish that game—while constantly talking about how much of what is happening resembles the game—to stop Ghostface from making those annoying prank phone calls and send him back to “Square One” in time for everyone to go to the prom.

 

Paranormal Activity

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Preschool sisters Katie and Kristi keep hearing strange noises. Turns out it’s their invisible five-year-old friend Toby, practicing his drumming for the big “Fantasy Zone” ghost band competition. But when Toby’s tweener band mates dump him because they think he’s just a baby, it’s up to the sisters to pick up some instruments and prove to everyone in the competition that it’s not how old you are but how much you believe in yourself.

Which horror movies would you like to see rated G? Let us know in the comments!

Check Out  20 Rejected Horror Movie Posters!

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