It's that time again! When we all bemoan the fact that [Insert your favorite critically acclaimed show here] was canceled and the television equivalent of an itchy rash on a leathery tanned hooha region is back for season five. I hope having it on my DVR doesn't lead to the Golden Girls getting infected. Yeah, I DVR the Golden Girls, what of it? That's actually not as embarrassing as saying I DVR Jersey Shore.
After a season of souring our international relations with Italy, they're back where they belong---Seaside Heights. And judging from the trailer it's just like old times. Fist pumpin' and fisticuffs at Klub Karma, GTL and one of the cast members pretending to leave. This time it's our old pal Vinny the faux rapist.
But the season's biggest storyline seems to be between the only two remotely interesting cast members--The Situation and Snooki, as they continue to battle it out over their alleged hook-up. What really happened to Amelia Earhart? Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone? Was Snooki DTF with the Situation? Just another mysterious question we may never know the answer to. Although I don't think the Snooki DTF one will ever get the History Channel treatment.
My favorite scene in the new trailer has to be the glimpse we get of an epic milk fight between the two alleged lovaaaahs, a fight which includes, IMO, the standout line from the trailer, "You scared of milk, Popeye?" Dare I say it is this season's "Come at me bro!" ? When she isn't saying things that are unintentionally hilarious, this season Snooki can also be seen faux-smooshing people in a bunny costume and urinating on the back porch in broad daylight completely sober. There's a reason she's the show's breakout star and not just in a viral way.
So yeah the trashiest show in town will be back infecting the next generation in horrifying ways.
And creating more proof that end times is near.
Kind of makes me wish that that movie coming soon to SyFy, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, was actually a documentary.
Here's a look at the trailer:
What do you think of the trailer? Will you be watching? Do you hate yourself after you watch an episode? I do. Let me know your thoughts @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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