Mario Kart 7 has some awesome new ways and places to race your karts, including underwater and in the sky. In addition they've got the usual assortment of places in the Mushroom Kingdom where you can dramatically increase your carbon footprint while at the same time hitting a girl in a go-kart with a giant bullet. But many of the levels seem a bit similar to old levels, sure they're great, but there are plenty of race tracks they could have included that they didn't. Here are some levels that I wish they had included, because they would have been awesome:
Bowser's Wall Street Trading Floor
What better way to Occupy Wall Street than with a sh*tload of Go-Karts and your favorite Nintendo characters! Bonus to anyone to is able to dramatically reduce the Dow Jones Industrial Average with a well -timed red shell!
Tom Cruise's Weird Ass Space Ship That He Makes His Family Live In Waiting For Xenu
It's scary as hell in there, and you have to watch out not to run over Katie Holmes, who Tom Cruise has chained nude to the wall in a room his troubingly calls the "Incubation Hub," but the cylindircal shape of the Space Ship is great for fast paced, exciting shell on shell action.
Baby Mario's Zombie Plague Ridden African Village
Driving through a sea of mindless virally contagious African zombies is the best possible way to make Mario Kart action even more intense! And, Uh-Oh, it looks like Chris from Resident Evil and the rest of his team is here firing everything they've got at the once human maurading hordes. Be careful not to get caught in the crossfire, because I don't care how many shells you have circling you, they won't stop bullets!
Princess Peach's Bathroom
Haaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwttttttttt.
Yoshi's Toodstool Sweatshop
Mario's plumber clothes are constantly getting ruined in his many battles with Bowser's minions, and how did you think he was able to get them so cheaply? The Toadstools in the clothing factory work for almost nothing in brutal conditions, and are overseen by Yoshi, who was appointed as Overseer of the factory when Mario noticed that the pain of another living thing is the only thing that makes Yoshi laugh.
Daisy's Heart Shaped Bathtub With Unusually Soft Loofas
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
The Set Of The TV Show 'Whitney'
Why? Cuz f*ck that show, that's why.
What other levels would you like to see in Mario Kart? Let us know in the comments!
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