Well, well, well. Veeeery interesting. A new study of teen behavior has been released by the University of Michigan and BREAKING NEWS, teens are really into puffing doobies. Over half of all high school seniors admitted to toking up while one in five eighth graders confessed that they too were scruffy little potheads. 100% of James Francos admitted to being infected with a bad case of reefer madness.
And we're not talking just a one time curiosity thing. Like you find a roach in your dad's ashtray and try to take a puff but you don't know how to inhale and the whole thing is a bust and then you just get depressed that your dad is a pothead and you write a humiliating journal entry about not fitting in. Uh...that happened to a friend of mine. A staggering 6.6 % of high school seniors confess to near daily marijuana use! The research shows that kids just don't think that pot is that scary and goes on to state the obvious...those unintentionally hilarious anti-drug PSAs have not worked.
I'm pretty sure you don't have to choose one or the other.
The good news is that alcohol consumption is down, as is teen pregnancy. Coincidence? I don't think so. When you're stoned you are way too busy creating new combinations of microwaved foods (I recommend cup o' smores, patent pending) to even think about letting some boy get all up in your grill. Sadly, I guess this means we'll be seeing far fewer knocked up high school cheerleading teams. I love cheerleaders with child. You never know what might pop out when they do a herkie jump.
But just because you don't get all preggo doesn't mean you won't get a big belly. Marijuana can still get you fat. And it can leave you unmotivated. And distracted. Why do I totally have a craving for a crunchy cheesy gordita right now?
And obviously, doing drugs is NEVER recommended. Sure you could be the next James Franco, but more likely than not, you'll be the next Lindsay Lohan. And no one will be there to Photoshop you prettier for your Playboy spread either.
What do you think? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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