FMyLife
Are YOU on the Naughty list? Or does life just treat you that way? That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best Santa FML moments this week!
That means there's a chance!
Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
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Merry Christmas
Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FMLL
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He sees you when you're sleeping
Today, my neighbor took out a restraining order against me. She told the cops that for the last week, I've been standing in my yard looking at her though her bedroom window. It's my blow up Santa in the yard, not me. FML
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Reverse Santa
Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML
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Outta Santa's way!
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
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"The list"
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
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I know what your're NOT getting
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
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Santa doesn't do that...
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
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