On Christmas Eve all video game characters stop doing what they're doing, whether it's hopping on a Goomba, firing at an alien enemy, or biting a hooker get her to run out of the car, and celebrate the birth of Christ. And what better way to celebrate the birth of a savior who spent his life issuing harsh criticisms about material goods and wealth inequality than by buying things from giant companies to give to one another? There is no better way, is the answer, and video game characters agree, so what gifts do they planning on giving each other?
Mario ---> Luigi
A Girlfriend. Mario's been going out with the Princess for it seems like forever, but Luigi's had to go home after every adventure, Google dirty pictures, finish himself off, then fall to sleep covered in his own tears and seed. Of course, like everything Luigi has, it can't quite be up to snuff with what Mario's got. It just wouldn't be right.
Dante ---> The Argosax
Gossip Girl, the Complete Series on Blu-Ray. The Argosax, in addition to being the sum of all Evil incarnated in a single being, also can not get enough of Serena Van Der Woodsen and the rest of the Upper East Side Gals.
Zeus---> Kratos
"Who Let The Dogs Out" by the Baja Men. Admittedly, Zeus hasn't really kept up with the times here on Earth. One can only hope this doesn't additional pressure to their already strained relationship, considering that Kratos got Zeus a really nice watch that Kratos remembered Zeus pointing out one time when they were at the mall, which is a way more thoughtful gift.
Samus ----> Mother Brain
A way nicer fishbowl to live in. Awwww, Samus, that's so sweet!
Pikachu ----> Ash
It's own waste. Yeah, Pikachu's aren't very smart.
Ash ----> Pikachu
His waste. Ash isn't that bright either.
Luigi -----> Mario
His comeuppance. Luigi has spent years in Mario's shadow. He gets no respect. When he has an accomplishment Mario takes all the credit. Mario never lets him ride the good Yoshis. Well Mario, everyone's got a breaking point, including Luigi. And Luigi knows exactly where your breaking point is. It's your face.
What other Christmas gifts are video game characters giving each other this year? Let us know in the comments!
Check Out The Differences Between Japanese And American Video Games!
Comments
Post a Comment