BEHOLD. Yukigassen. Snow Battle. Many will enter the fray. Few will leave. There is only one rule in Yukigassen, the ancient art of Japanese snowball fighting...
Snow. Or be snowed.
Yukigassen: Origins
The ancient art of Yukigassen originated slightly under 20 years ago when a "Hoteru o shoyū shite iru hito," or "guy that owns a hotel," decided he wanted to attract more people to his resort in the winter by hosting a giant snow ball fight. That is one of the legends. The other is that 11,000 years ago a 400 foot tall White Fox with a single red stripe of blood down its forehead, whose paws were made of ice, kidnapped the Emperor's daughter. The Emperor took a few of his most trusted Samurai and made his way to the Giant White Fox's layer. The Giant Fox, impressed by the Emperor's tenacity, promised to give his daughter back uneaten, but only on the condition that the Emperor held a snow ball fight every eyar in the Giant Fox's honor.
Which origin story is really true? That is for you to decide.
Yukigassen: The Competition
Most people who are of decent breeding have had snow ball fights. Ordinary, simple-minded games of snow throwing for fools. Yukigassen is no mere child's play. In this orgy of snow violence two opposing teams meet on a 44 x 12 foot field covered in places to hide. There are three rounds in a Yukigassen battle. The team that has more players standing, or has captured the other team's flag at the end of each round wins. The team that wins the most rounds at the end is victorious. At that point the losing team much choose their form of ritual suicide. They may either use ritually significant hand-carved knives to open their stomachs and die watching their intensines unfold out of their bodies, or drink a cup of lava. The ritual suicide at the end is optional in Yukigassen, and if they don't do ritual suicide they also have the option of going to Pizza Hut and eating pizza buffet style, or heading home and chilling. The choice is theres and theres alone.
Yukigassen: He Who Casts The First Snow
The popularity of Yukigassen is becoming increasingly wide spread, there are now Yukigassen finals in many countries, including the United States and Canada. In Japan alone there are over 2,000 teams. But my uninformed, rough estimate, that's at least 1,300 more teams than there are people living in Japan.
Yukigassen: Stand Alone Complex
Though there has yet to be a rule that requires the use of Spider-shaped battle mechs in Yukigassen, think about this: there's no rule saying you can't use them either.
Yukigassen: Behold
Below is a video of the carnage unfolding. Pregnant women and nursing mothers should not watch the video, as the intensity of the snow fight will cause your child to be born with flippers instead of nostrils, and your milk will turn sour.
What crazy winter sport can you invent? Let us know in the comments!
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