There’s nothing more fun, more exciting, more adventurous and more outright exhilarating than when you just start dating someone you really like. Your heart won’t stop beating, your head won’t stop spinning and sometimes your mouth won’t stop saying things you’re only going to regret later, like the following six remarks…
“What should we name our children?”
Variations: “What kind of flowers would you like at our wedding?” “Will this place be big enough for us and my parents?” “Will we still make love like this when we’re 85?”
The first several dates should be about having fun, not about discussing wedding caterers, real estate purchases and adjoining cemetery plots.
“You know what your problem is?”
Variations: “This is all your fault.” “I can read you like a book.” “What I have to put up with dating you.” “God, you’re such a mess.”
Most people don’t like to be psychoanalyzed by well-trained, well-meaning professionals, much less someone with an agenda who’s just pissed you ate their yogurt.
“Why haven’t you updated your relationship status on Facebook yet?”
Variations: “Are you afraid of commitment?” “Are you ashamed of me?” “Are you dating other people?” “Are you forcing me to post these questions on your Facebook wall?”
There are a few steps between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone. If you try to run past those steps you might find your date running away from you or running towards an oncoming bus.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Variations: “Why should I trust you?” “I already made plans for us.” “I think the days of just hanging out with your friends are over.” “Step out that door and I’ll make this very uncomfortable for the both of us.”
Distrust in dating can result from three things: 1) You suffer from self-doubt or insecurity, 2) You have legitimate reasons to be suspicious of the other person, 3) You are both assassins hired to kill each other.
”Why won’t you share your password with me?”
Variations: “Why don’t you trust me?” “What are you hiding that you don’t want me to see?” “I guess you’re always going to put up walls between us, aren’t you?” “How much money do you have in your bank account?”
Dating is a time to find out about the other person gradually, not get immediate access to enough personal information that you can assume their identity should you ever be on the lam.
”You’re not my usual type.”
Variations: “This is just a phase.” “This can’t last.” “I usually go out with more attractive/successful/worthwhile people.” “You’re lucky I even considered this.” “What the hell.”
Telling someone you have a “type” is like saying you don’t want to date someone so much as fulfill a particular fantasy. Either that or you decided to use Match.com to find a suitable kidney donor.
What are some other things you should never say on a first date? Let us know in the comments!
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