A gun the size of a baby's fist can kill you. A weapons doesn't have to be big or crazy looking to make you be dead. But for some reason all forms of popular entertainment are constantly trying to outdo each other with how crazy and huge they can make the weapons their characters use. Some are so bizarre or gigantic they just wouldn't actually be able to function if they were real. Like:
Any Sword From Final Fantasy
A sword can't be significantly longer and heavier than the person wielding it. If Apple applied the same logic to keyboards that Square-Enix did to weapons, then it would take three people at a time to press the "shift" key.
Gun-Instead-Of-A-Leg-Gun, "Grindhouse"
There could be nothing less convenient than having a machine gun for a leg. Every time you pulled the trigger the kick back would send you tumbling on your ass. Although the time made up by not having to shave your gun leg would almost be worth it.
Guitar Case That's A Gun, "Desperado"
While arguably a great way to camoflague a gun, you still have to fire a guitar case. Which apparently the makers of the guitar case gun didn't take into account.
Vaginal Laser, "Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers"
There are very few situations in which disrobing and laying down with your legs spread to fire a laser is more effective than a traditional, ordinary hand gun. More than that, I feel bad for the guy that takes her virginity.
The Redeemer, "Unreal"
It sounds awesome to be able to control a mini nuclear weapon. Except that when it goes off like what, 30 feet from you, you were only 30 feet from a nuclear explosion. So even if you survived your kids would be born with two heads and mouths for hands.
Chainsaw For A Hand, "Evil Dead 2"
In the short term this is very useful, but try to go more than a week with a chainsaw apendage without accidentally wiping with the wrong hand.
Soul Edge, "Soul Blade"
Being way to big for anyone to possibly wield successfully is one problem, the fact that if it gets sand in its eye it complains all annoyingly is a bit of a b*tch, but owning a sword that's constantly trying to corrupt your soul, at that point you might as well just go ahead and get a regular g*ddamn sword.
Sword: "Hey, what are you doing?"
Me: "Just watching some Walker, Texas Ranger."
Sword: "You should take me and go kill a bunch of nuns."
Me: "Uhh... no thanks, sword, I think I'll just keep watching Walker, Texas Ranger."
Sword: " OK cool, just a suggestion. No big, just thought you liked to have fun, get not though...........pussy."
What other weapons in pop culture are utterly ludicrous? Let us know in the comments!
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