Since so many day to day problems involve waiting for long stretches of time, I tend to use angry birds to solve my day-to-day problems. But angry birds don't have that advantage! They must never know that there is a popular game based on them or they will demand royalties and bankrupt the angry birds corporation LLC. Here is how they solve their everyday problems.
Losing their phone
After every level there's a moment where the angry birds wander around looking for their dropped iPhones. The red bird has literally cracked the screens of three iPhones so far. Still hasn't bought a case.
Forgetting their credit card after eating at a restaurant
Usually, the angry birds will just dine and dash. In fact, they do this pretty often even when they remember their cards.
No seats left on the bus
They shoot people to get them to move. Old ladies are the weak point!
Subway's out of meatballs and is a different meat okay?
If the angry birds all shoot themselves at the same spot in the Subway glass, it'll break eventually. Then they have access to all the meat.
Existential conflict
The angry birds grow upset, wondering who builds these structures that they have to knock down, if their lives have purpose, if this damn war will ever be over. They tend to deal with this by shooting themselves at things.
The printer is out of ink
First, they shoot over to Staples. Then they shoot over to the cash register to pay. Then, the hard part is shooting back over to the printer to put the cartridge in AND pressing the button. It's incredibly cumbersome and would be really easy if they didn't need to shoot themselves everywhere.
Someone left the cake out in the rain
They take care of this problem by blasting through the body of whoever left the cake outside in an explosion of blood and flesh. This is a serious one- the angry birds will never have that recipe again.
What daily annoyances do you think would be easier as an angry bird? Let us know in the comments!
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