In a recent interview about his movie "Contraband", which to my knowledge has nothing to do with 9/11, Mark Wahlberg had this to say about 9/11:
"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry."
If only Mark Wahlberg had been aboard a 9/11 flight our nation would be a different, less terrorized place. I can't help but think about all the other horrors that have befallen America and what Mark Wahlberg, star of the movie "Contraband", now in theaters, could have done to stop them.
Great San Francisco fire
"Goin' 'round stomping out fires in San Fran ain't no harder than pretendin' to be someone you ain't in front of a camera for thirty seconds at a time!" I assume Mark Wahlberg would think.
The Bush presidency
"If I was on the Florida Supreme Court with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did."
Pearl Harbor
No, not that one.
Pearl Harbor
I just feel like Mark Wahlberg would have sold that role better than Affleck. Sorry for having an opinion.
The assassination of President Lincoln
If only Mark Wahlberg had been in Ford Theater that night to deflect the bullet and devour John Wilkes Booth whole. Did you know Mark Wahlberg is impervious to bullets and has giant Baraka teeth? It's why history will look upon him so favorably.
The Great Depression
"If I was at the Great Depression with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did."
The Trail of Tears
"Yo man, what are you doing? You can't just move a sh*t load of people from their homelands to what will one day be known as eastern Oklahoma! Leave 'em alone and let's go get a chicago dog for chrissakes. You get red onions on yours? You don't like red onions? You a p*ssy?"
What would you have liked Mark Wahlberg to have stopped? Let us know in the comments!
Check out Mark Wahlberg To Co-Star With Justin Bieber In Dramatic Film!?
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