The Ten Worst Years of All Time

Mikey McCollor

2011 is in the books, and now with a little bit of distance, we can reflect on what kind of year it was. Granted, nearly 10 percent of the United States population was unemployed but at the same time Batman Arkham City came out, so ultimately I'd say 2011 was a pretty solid year. The same cannot be said, however, for some OTHER years. Here is the list of the top ten worst years.

 

10. 1948

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To fully understand why 1948 was bad, you have to realize that 1947 was the year the modern bikini was invented. So no matter what happened in 1948, it wasn't going to hold a candle to 1947's most important innovation. It's like bringing french bread and spinach dip to a party where everyone's already passed out. It doesn't matter how great this thing that you've brought to the table is, it's over man. Just head home and try again next year.

 

9. 1996

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This was the year Hulk Hogan turned into a bad guy by dropping a leg on Macho Man Randy Savage and joining "The Outsiders" Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. Many noted historians call this the year that Hulkamania died. Did you know that without Hulk Hogan telling us to say our prayers and eat our vitamins too (as these are all the things that the maniacs do), not one single American has taken a single vitamin or said a single prayer since 1996?

 

8. 1993

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This was the year that Saved by the Bell: The College Years premiered, and everything was all hyper-colored and obnoxious. But beyond that, Saved by the Bell perfectly encapsulated what was wrong with the 90s by being a fun little idea that went on way too long. I'm looking at you, tucked-in denim shirts and Microsoft Windows.

 

7. 1989

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1989 was the last year of the Reagan administration! :(

 

6. 2010

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I worked in a bakery for dogs most of this year. Like, baking treats for dogs. It was stupid so go to hell 2010.

 

5. 1999 - 2002

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By being so dominant from 1999 - 2002 the Los Angeles Lakers made an entire sport boring. Although, I guess the same could be said of Hulk Hogan when he was so dominant in the WWF in the late eighties. I guess what I'm saying is sports are dumb if they aren't a) competitive or b) full of huge guys doing leg-drops and pretending their arms are bow and arrows.

 

4. That one year when everyone wanted a Furby for Christmas

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That was the creepiest Christmas of all time. Did anyone else get the Furby that expelled a liquid that looked like coffee grounds and said in a high-pitched bird like voice that the end times were nigh too? I think I liked that one the least.

 

3. 1980-1984, 1986-1989

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It's so hard to pick out one bad year from the eighties, since it had awful music like Safety Dance and everyone was too busy wearing blue shirts with white collars and investing in the stock market to be nice to other human beings. But I found myself unable to call this section "The Eighties" because in 1985 both the original NES and Calvin & Hobbes came into the world. So good job on not being as sucky as the rest of the 80s, 1985. If only more years from the 80s had looked up to 1985, it wouldn't be the decade where everyone looks at who they were back then and shivers.

 

2. 2005

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While this placement isn't necessarily because of any terrible events, it must be acknowledged that 2005 was right in the middle of a decade, which made the whole year feel like one big Wednesday.

 

1. 1932

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Good God what a terrible year. 1932 was the year that American hero Charles Lindbergh's baby was abducted, Adolph Hitler received his German citizenship which was the first step towards being elected its' chancellor and eventual dictator, America was in the throws of the great depression, Mars bars- unquestionably the sh*tiest candy of all time- are sold for the first time, and Herbert Hoover was president, running around in the White House probably squishing baby kittens with his oversized hands. I literally had to drink half a bottle of wine to get through 1932's Wiki page. 

 

Which of these years really boils your blood? Let us know in those comments!

 

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