Growing up in the suburbs, I thought only hoodlums and ne’er-do-wells had tattoos. I now live in LA, land of the dark mark. If I hadn’t reevaluated my ink perception, I would have no friends. Still, it’s possible to tell a little something about a person solely based on their tattoo. Come on! Let’s be judgmental for an article. Here’s what some tattoos say about their owners.
White Guilt
What do you mean by this pattern, sir? Are we at war with a neighboring tribe? Or are you feeling responsible for the fact that we don’t see more of these on people whose ancestry the pattern actually pertains to?
Frustrated Belle
This person longs for something more than this two-bit town and wants the world to know that she’s doing some research. But she’s not, like, going to move across the world or anything. She’s just going to be the cool person who talks about it a lot. Who wants to get some Kung Pao chicken?
You Sneaky…
This person’s mom probably knew he loved her before he got her name tattooed on his being. Then why did he do it? To prove to every other woman in his life that he’s a mama’s boy and therefore a good guy! A man with a tattoo like that would never cheat on a woman, right?
Did I Tell You The One About The Tattoo?
So there’s this joke this girl really likes. And she tells it to Every. Single. Person she meets for the rest of her life. It’s like a conversation piece, where the conversation makes you want to kill yourself after the third time you have it.
Understudy
When you tattoo a portrait of a famous person to your body, you’re not making yourself more like that celebrity – you’re forcing people to evaluate ways in which you differ. It’s like the Judy Garland quote: “Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else.”
Excellent Human Being
Anyone who went out and got inked up with a Hunger Games Mockingjay automatically wins life. This tattoo represents good in the face of evil, fighting for what you believe in, and if nothing else, a phenomenal weekend of reading. (NOTE: it might be a better idea to get a temporary version!)
What do you guys think of when you see certain tattoos? Let us know in the comments!
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