There are some awesome cover songs out there, usually they are by artists that are actually talented, making a great song their own. Then there are these covers. Mostly great songs performed by 'artists' who can't even make good original music. Please stop butchering my ears with your interpretations. Thank you, 'artists'.
Miley Cyrus--Smells Like Teen Spirit
Miley Cyrus was inspired by Nirvana? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She can't be tamed, y'all! She's totes punk rock. She eats penis cake. She smokes salvia. Kurt Cobain is facepalming in his grave.
Britney Spears--(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
Is there anything more irritating than Britney's 'sexy' voice? STOP TRYING SO HARD! You can't get no satisfaction, Britney? STEP ONE: Stop hooking up with schlubby losers like Kevin Federline. If you need additional tips on how to move up the 'significant other' ladder, ask Justin Timberlake.
Hilary Duff--My Generation
Do any of us believe for a second Hilary Duff has teen angst? The biggest problem she's ever faced was being placed on the waitlist for the Hermes Birkin bag. I almost went with her 'Our Lips Are Sealed' cover, but realized that my hatred for that song was mostly about Haylie. STOP TRYING TO MAKE US LOVE YOUR SISTER, HAYLIE!
Jessica Simpson--Angels
Way to take a subtle and delicate melody and blast it to death with your insincere interpretation. Beyonce heard this version and was like DAYUM! How many syllables did that word have??
Paris Hilton--Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?
No, we don't think you're sexy. We think you're annoying, vacant and absolutely void of talent. You are the living embodiment of Herp Derp. Please keep herp derping away. Well, maybe not the herp part.
Kelly Osbourne--Papa Don't Preach
I actually kind of like Kelly Osbourne. But I think one YouTube commenter said it best. Daughter don't sing. It's also kind of hard to buy Kelly as a working class teen struggling with an accidental pregnancy. I'm pretty sure she spends more on her puffball puppies than I earn in a year.
Fall Out Boy--Beat It
This cover is just bad. Not like the good bad, just really, really bad. And what does it say about Fall Out Boy that they had to bring John Mayer in to recreate the Eddie Van Halen guitar solo?
Kidz Bop-Born This Way
This is like a million times worse than anything ever on Glee. I feel bad loathing children. But do these children feel bad for making me wanting to rip out my uterus?
The Jonas Brothers--Take On Me
Seriously? Why do people like these guys? They're not hot enough to suck this bad. Well, maybe Joe is.
Celine Dion--You Shook Me All Night Long
Sweet jeebus! This is a master class in awkward. The only reason I wanna believe Celine has ever been shook all night long, is because someone is grabbing her by the shoulders, shaking her after seeing this performance and screaming "WHY???" That being said, it does kind of have a Human Centipede kind of appeal.
Which cover do you hate the most? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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