I used to wake up every morning and look out my window and up at the sky, praying to whom or whatever might be up there that nothing had happened to Justin Bieber while I slept. But now I can finally, finally get some rest— TMZ is reporting that Bieber has a bodyguard who beats up people for taking pictures of him.
I would punch Heaven and Earth for that smile.
(source)
Yes, a photographer wouldn't get out of the way of Justin's SUV, so his bodyguard got out of the car and tried to lead the photographer away. When he refused, and took a swing at him, Bieber's bodyguard punched him out. It ACTUALLY looked like this:
You haven't seen the video. You don't know.
(source)
The photographer was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon because he was wielding a camera. Since when is a camera a deadly weapon? Is the guy handling booking down at the LAPD just a paranoid James Bond fan?
"And the best part is, 007, since this gun looks like a camera, no one in their right mind would ever call it a deadly weapon!"
(source)
Of course, this isn't the first time a bodyguard has gone nuts on cosmically insignificant non-celebrities. Recently, Johnny Depp's bodyguards put a disabled woman in the hospital. And only last month Ray J's bodyguards savaged some drunk guys, and before that Hootie and the Blowfish had to be saved by a bodyguard when a crazy Hootie and the Blowfish fan hopped the stage.
Hootie didn't care though. Hootie just tryin' to be Hootie.
(source)
Wait a minute. Let's follow this thread — from Justin Bieber to Johnny Depp to Ray J to Hootie and the Blowfish. If we put the pattern together, we see that bodyguards are becoming less and selective about whose body they'll guard. And as Hootie shows, they're not even exclusively guarding celebrities anymore — their standards are trickling down to us! Ronald Reagan was right! It's morning in America! Soon I'll have a bodyguard of my very own. And then we'll see who complains about the Lost ending around me.
IT WAS IMMENSELY SATISFYING FROM A CHARACTER PERSPECTIVE.
(source)
What are you going to use your bodyguard to do for you? Let us know in the comments below!
Check out Mark Wahlberg To Co-Star With Justin Bieber In Dramatic Film!?
Comments
Post a Comment