As we all know, Mass Effect 3 is coming out March 6. At least, it is on Earth. You see, since the game takes place in space, publisher EA is releasing a bunch of copies early. Into space. Nothing drums up anticipation for a game like releasing it into it's real-life setting, as we've seen when Capcom gave all those African villages Resident Evil 5 or when Nintendo flushed a bunch of copies of New Super Mario Bros. Wii down a toilet.
And who could forget Activision sending Call of Duty World at War back in time to World War II at their E3 press conference?
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EA will be rigging packages containing Mass Effect 3 and a GPS device to weather balloons and sending them into the atmosphere. This means that you can track the GPS devices on EA's website, move to one of the six cities around the world that will be releasing them, fight off other lonely Mass Effect fans, and get the game less than two weeks early! Ohh, you'll be the belle of the ball then! That promotion you've been competing for at work with similarly skilled coworkers? Having a copy of Mass Effect 3 early will put you over the top! And your Harvard application will be all the more robust if you mention you've got an early copy of Mass Effect 3!
"Hey baby, I've got a GPS lead on an early copy of Mass Effect 3."
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I think we can agree that this is ridiculous, but what else was the EA marketing team supposed to do? Mass Effect 3 is the sequel to the best-reviewed game of this console generation and is going to do well on its' own. And without big, silly gimmicks like this one, it's easy for EA marketers to look like they're phoning it in.
"Zzhh.. let's buy a billboard... zzshh... and a commercial on WWE Raw."
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Unless this is the EA marketing team trying to, in some weird way, fulfill their dreams of being an astronaut. If they couldn't pass the physical fitness test themselves, maybe having something they worked on get into space will help some of that sadness dissipate. But I don't think it's going to work, EA marketing team — your dad still probably won't love you.
No father has ever loved his child if they haven't gone into space.
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And please, ask yourself this before you go hunting a space copy of Mass Effect 3- do you really have nothing better to do? There are a lot of really good games out right now. Did you play Resistance 3? How about Batman Arkham City? Do you have that platinum trophy yet? And even beyond games, when was the last time you visited your grandmother? The nursing home staff says she asks about you every day.
"Does he at least get to play Mass Effect 3 early?"
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Does this space-age marketing sway you towards purchasing Mass Effect 3? Or were you going to buy it anyway? Let us know in the comments!
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